Small Goals

Goal #1 – For the next 3 days I will not eat late at night.
Goal #2 – I will cut my meals in half.

Jesus, I ask that you would help me to make right decisions.  I pray that I would become a man that can follow you.

Jesus, make me all that I am supposed to be…and help me not to wreck it all.

Amen.

A Prayer

As the morning unfolds…as the light of dawn approaches…my thoughts are with you.

You created the morning.  You created the light. 

You created me and all that I am.  You sustain me and all that I do.  With the slightest infliction you speak to me.

I hear.

I know.

I love you.

I sense you.  I feel you.

In the night I long for you.  In the day I see you.  You are in all that I do.  You are in all that I am. 

Holy God.

Mighty Father.

Loving Giant.

Thank you.

For life.  For grace.  For chances.  For all that you choose to give me. 

I submit myself to you again.  This day is yours.  This heart is yours.  This life…all that I strive for – is yours.  Take me and make me and mold me. 

I love you.  Jesus I love you.

Devotion to Jesus

This morning I arose early and realized that I have not had a sweet
time with Jesus for a couple of weeks. Sure, I have read my bible…I
have prayed (feebly)…and I have tried to live him out around me.

But,
this morning…I need Jesus. I need him to be with my today. I need
the power of the Holy Spirit. I need the love and grace of the Lord
again today. I see the sickness of my own heart. I see the nature of
me without Jesus. I see how self-absorbed and inefficient I am.

Holy
Spirit – move in me now. Make me new. Please help me to be the man of
God that you have called me to. Give me strength to accomplish all
that you have called me to, bit more than that…give me a new sense of
passion to be more and more holy. More and more set a part.

I
am currently reading in the book of Numbers. I have just read about
the rebellion of Korah – and how God dealt with their rebellion. He
violently reacted to it:

³¹ He had hardly finished speaking the words when the ground suddenly split open beneath them. ³² The
earth opened its mouth and swallowed the men, along with their
households and all their followers who were standing with them, and
everything they owned. ³³ So they
went down alive into the grave, along with all their belongings. The
earth closed over them, and they all vanished from among the people of
Israel. ³⁴ All the people around them fled when they heard their screams

Within
a culture of young people who are setting out to change the world, I
see the seeds of rebellion. Many times in our (young people wanting to
serve the Lord) desire to do better, we forget the wisdom of our
elders. And greater – we forget the assignment of the Lord…they have
been placed in leadership – and it is God who places all leaders.

Jesus…I
now renew my commitment to following the leaders that you place in my
life. I renew my commitment to seeing you active in my heart and soul.

Be with me today.

With Jesus…back in the States

It is good.

It is good to be home. It is good that I was in Germany. It is good.

It is good to see my family after 23 days of being apart. It is good that I went. It is good.

It is good to see friends here at home. It is good to recall all of the new friends I met. It is good.

It is good to know of God’s move around the world. It is good to know that he is at work here. It is good.

It is good to dream. It is good to step out in faith. It is good.

It is good to hold on to the present moment. It is good to hunker down and endure. It is good.

Life is good. Death is good. It is good.

God is good. God is good. It is good.

Graduation

What does it mean to live life? We are born. We survive. We die. Is it more? Is there a greater meaning, significance or purpose? Recent stats say that an American life expectancy is 77 years and 5 months. What for? Is there a reason for us to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide, for our bodies to operate, move and take up space? Are we just waiting for death? And if we are, by the way, why must we experience the grand scale of emotions at every step? Just this week you probably have laughed, may have cried, hopefully you have smiled, perhaps you have worried or lost sleep or have been depressed, maybe you have beamed with joy, shouted with excitement or groaned in defeat. All of us have been there or will be there or are there right now. We are waiting for death and in the process experiencing a lot of, well…life. For this is life. The emotive human being embeds into the memory bank only that which is emotional. Only that which inspires, demoralizes, hurts or gives joy. These permanent impressions are more than photo stamps in the cerebrum; they are markers, forever on our soul and forever in our hearts. They are reminders that something significant took place. Good, bad or ugly, we are known by these markers, we know through these markers and subsequently experience life; this life waiting for death.

Every parent remembers the moment of becoming a parent. Perhaps learning of pregnancy was the moment that you remember. I was watching a UCLA vs Washington football game on TV in Covina, CA. Deshawn Foster rushed for over 300 yards. I remember not because I love football so much, but I remember to surprise, the anxiety and joy that rushed through me all in one moment. Perhaps you have forgotten the pain of labor, but know the joy of holding a writhing fresh-born, who knew nothing except to cry and to suck with everything it had. Do you remember envying anyone who slept for more than 2 hours at a time? Did you pray that they would be more than you and grimace on the day that you looked down and saw a whole bunch of you? I have noticed that the memories of sleepless nights with a newborn fade as a child grows older, but do you remember the first day of school? Who was more afraid? Who was more excited – your child ready to get with other kids – or you ready to get away from kids? Did you smile at the drop off and cry as you drove off? Your child was so oblivious to you, but you were so aware of them. They grew and grew and you wondered who pressed the fast-forward button.

Along the way you experienced a whole bunch of life together. Braces. Groan, “They’ll call me brace face!” Groan, “Money.” Glasses. Groan, “These frames look dumb!” Groan, “Money.” Some kids get beat up. Some kids beat up. We frown at them, we scream for them at games, scream at them at home, forgive them and hopefully, we ask for their forgiveness.

“Why don’t you work a little harder in your classes?!”

“Why don’t you come to my games?!”

“You don’t appreciate anything your mother and I do for you!”

“Why can’t I just be me?”

“I’m 16 and I am mature enough to be able to drive!”

“I’m the parent and I’m mature enough to say NO.”

“Puberty is awful”

“Puberty is awful”

“Why can’t I have different parents?!”

“Are these really MY kids?”

This is life. Every moment potentially so wrought with emotion. We remember the moments of joy and regret our failures, but in the midst of it all, we move forward and doesn’t it feel like it is fast-forward?

This life, waiting for death is the very life that Jesus invades. It is the life that Jesus redeems. And it is in this life that we find hope. At some point along the way we become aware that God loves us. That God desires to be with us. And he did so by becoming man. He did so by exemplifying what it means to be a servant; what it means to lay aside selfish ambition, pride and die for others in humility.

In the course of life our children are introduced to this Jesus. Some, with no hesitation, run right to him and stay with him throughout life. But, more commonly, young people struggle, trying to reconcile in their minds, this God who loves them, in the midst of an unforgiving world. Sometimes their perception becomes clouded because of pain; pain that they have chosen or pain unchosen. Regardless of where they find themselves in this moment or how they would describe their current relationship with God, there can be no doubt that in this life, God will chase them. He will allow them opportunity to sense his love, his understanding and grace.

Today we pause to reflect upon, to celebrate and to send forth a crop of 18 year olds who have completed required education, but more than that, they have endured trials, learned more of who they are and have experienced a whole lot of life. They have succeeded, they have failed, they have endured, they have given up, they have given their best, and certainly have in moments done the minimum required. But right now, in this moment, they have completed the largest task they have yet to face. You have helped them, we have helped them and their teachers, school administrators and coaches have helped them. And so here they are.

It is our joy, privilege and heartache to walk through life with these young people. This class has endured some transitions in the ministry; they have put up with me for this year, but have also put up with Stephan Hibdon, Paul Godin and Albert Moore. What a mix, huh?

Some would wonder at the job of being a youth pastor or leader, but I say to you with all honesty that apart from being a husband and father, there is nothing more significant than spending time with this emerging generation. We wish to see them fall in love with Jesus and want to give them the tools to enter into adulthood equipped for life.

Bible Study

I am encouraged that there are a few who attend our weekly bible study.  Today it was only 3 girls, but we had a great conversation about the saving work of Jesus.  It is fascinating to revisit the basic principles of our Christian faith.  Our study in Romans plunked us right down there again.  Jesus, thank you for students…please be with me and my family on this day…

Jesus

I am motivated to say that I love him. I need him. I want to be more like him. And I want others to know this love. This grace. This love. This freedom. This mercy. This reconciliation. How great it is to be loved. To be forgiven. To have a future.

And now, Jesus…help me to be you ambassador in every way . I want to proclaim you. I pray that my family would see you through me. I pray for grace in stressful times. I pray for wisdom in every way. Should we pursue a second car? If so, would you mke it so obvious to us, please? Never let me stray. Never let me stray. Never let us stray. I pray that our children woujld follow you for all of their days and that they would know that they are loved. That they would know that they are forgiven. That they are free to be themselves. As we struggle with a strong will I pray that you would help us to temper the selfishness, but that we would break the spirit. I need so much grace. I need so much of you. I pray that all this day I might experience you. And all of every day. I pray that I would have a great time with my kids this afternoon. I pray that we would be able to experience adventure and play together.

And I pray that my wife may know your grace and love through me. I pray for sweet times of conversation. I pray that we would be able to have a great time to get away on our vacation in June. I pray that we would be refreshed in every way while we take time with the family. And I pray for peace.

And I pray for my ministry. That young people would be refreshed. That young people would fall in love with you. That they would be able to have fun as your children. That they would pursue you with all of their lives. That we would laugh in your presence. That we would be freed from the bondage of the past and propelled into the future with you. I pray that these young people would sense you in every way. As we minster, as we play and as we challenge them. I pray that we would be a prohetic voice. I pray that we would point to the ways in which they need to change and to be different. I pray that they would respond to our leadership. And I pray that many would come to know you. We ask for a move of your spirit. We ask that you would change hearts and values and priorities. Be glorified. In all things.

I wish to become the man that you would like me to be. Help me. Speak to me and give me your grace.

Excerpt from DaVinci Code Message 05.20.06

Truth is something that we as Christians must contend for. We should make it a priority in our lives to see what is correct, what is right and then perpetuate that in every fashion. I am concerned that in our day we are not aware of reality, but get lost, along with our culture, in a senseless delusion of what is real. We stay here because we are bombarded every day with half-truths and pretend worlds. In our age mass media, movies, TV, video games and the Internet allow us to spend much of our time watching unreal, made-up lives, or participating in fantastical dramas that are devoid of any relevance or substance.

It is from this vantage point that I have been motivated to address the DaVinci Code. I am not concerned that Christianity in general will lose a battle; historically Christianity has endured and triumphed over much greater controversy than what Dan Brown is bringing up. But, I am concerned that in a day of unreality becoming accepted as normative, we would stand by and allow some significant non-truths to become a part of the foundational, underlying veins which make up our worldview.
Jesus himself said while talking to Pilate

“I am not an earthly king. If I were, my followers would have fought when I was arrested by the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world.”
Pilate replied, “You are a king then?”
“You say that I am a king, and you are right,” Jesus said. “I was born for that purpose. And I came to bring truth to the world. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.”

As young people growing up in a often-confusing world I hope to bring some simplicity to this complicated topic. Perhaps some of you have gone to see this movie and you are realizing that there are some very good questions being brought up. Or perhaps you have never believed that Christianity is true. Or you are in the process of doubting who God is and what he means to you. Those are very real situations and tonight we are not going to be able to address every issue. But, it is my hope that you can be encouraged, that you can learn something new and be drawn closer to God.

Despair while living in the greatest hope

Lately I have been experiencing sadness. Not the sort of sadness that comes from universally recognized circumstances of sadness. But a sadness in my soul. Deep in my heart I have been hurting. No one has done anything to me. Not many know of this pain. And probably many could relate to it, but only if I were able to adequately describe myself. It is this deep angst against the contrasting backdrop of present and eternal hope that I write today. To be honest I am not sure what will come out, but here goes…an unveiling of my soul.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation” is what I was spouting as I awoke from knee surgery 3 weeks ago. I am sure that every individual has capacity to say many different things as they arise from unconscienceness.

this post was almost finished and then it got eaten by cyber-world…I am so sad…this is all that was recovered

On a limb

Today I will silently sneak out on a limb.
I hope that the branch will not break.
I pray that it holds my weight.
I don't wish to grow or to sink into fear.
I want to experience him being near.
I pray that that is the way that I will remember
this branch I am on today.
Ask away, I may tell, but no promises. None at all.
Your question may make me fall.
As I focus on not looking down I hope I don't catch your curious frown,
but instead I ask for a smile and after a while I may shed light on this strange trial.
So thanks for looking in as I move from sin and towards him.